Department of Leaf Readings

Form 3PM
Rev. 09

Authorized for release today

Fig. 1

When the tea is gone, what is left at the bottom of the cup means something. Reading it is this department’s entire job.

Confess to the leaves.

Everywhere else at VeryVery, people are running a tea company with spreadsheets and a warehouse. Not here. Here we ask four honest questions about your energy drink habit, consult the leaves, and send you a free box of tea. Accounting has stopped asking.

One reading per person · No purchase necessary
Legal has not reviewed this and would like that noted

How many a day, honestly?

Where’s the stash?

Fig. 2 · From the department's own notes

100 mg of caffeine, out of actual leaves.

All of it from black tea and green tea extract. Nothing synthetic — the department would have had to explain that to the leaves, and it did not fancy the conversation.

What the leaves are sending you · 1 of 3

Fig. 3 · From the department's own notes

And 100 mg of L-theanine.

The amino acid that grows in tea alongside caffeine. It is why tea feels different from an energy drink built on synthetic caffeine — lift without the jitter, and nothing to come down from afterwards.

What the leaves are sending you · 2 of 3

Fig. 4 · From the department's own notes

No sugar. Ten seconds.

One packet into the bottle you are already carrying, hot or cold. Sweetened with stevia leaf — no sucralose, no acesulfame K, nothing that needs a warning on the side.

What the leaves are sending you · 3 of 3

Spill the tea.

Everything before this was intake — how many, where it's hidden. This is the one the leaves actually read closely. What is it about energy drinks you cannot shake? The taste, the cold can, the ritual, the three o’clock cliff. Take a second with it.

The department may quote what you write. Never with your name on it.

What turns up at your door

Contents
10 packets, peach iced tea
Caffeine
100 mg, from tea leaf
Sugar
None
You pay
Nothing
Shipping
Free, 5–7 days

No card, no subscription, nothing to cancel. The department has its own budget, its own warehouse and almost no supervision. We email you the reading and the tracking.

Reading your leaves

They are taking their time. They always take their time.

VeryVery · Department of Leaf Readings

The leaves have looked, and find you to be a

Approved. Tea’s on its way.

This one’s already been read.

On FileOne reading per person

This email or this address already has a reading in the books, tea already on its way. The leaves keep good records, even when the details change. If something looks wrong, email hello@veryverygoodtea.com and the department will sort it out.

Today’s leaves have been read.

ClosedFor the business day

All of today’s boxes were released. The leaves are tired and, in the view of several other departments, a little smug about it. The reading room opens again tomorrow morning — same four questions, same suspiciously low standards.

The leaves are stuck.

Something went wrong on our end, not yours. Nothing you typed was the problem. Try again in a minute.